I found these dog personals a little bizarre and entertaining. There are things out there that you simply can’t imagine! (These photos were taken in Khan Market)
“Looking for a Beautiful Bride for our Most Awesome Dog on Earth..!!
HI….I’am [sic] FIDO…
I’am 3 years old…
I’am a Golden Labrador
I want a Beautiful Bride…
I’am :-
F for Fine Gentleman
I for Intelligent………
D for Darling……..
O for OAwesome…..
Please contact Mom…on this Number 98XXXXXXXX”
Some Observations:
(1) Given that you need to contact Mom, seems like Fido is still quite the Momas Boy
(2) Fido wants a Beautiful Bride…but something tells me the bride and groom aren’t going to be cohabiting for long…
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“No Strings Attached
Magic
Stud Services available
All I want for New Years is to be mated;
All I want for New Years is to be mated,
Though its March already I know this is one of the last years that my female companions will be drooling over me. I am 4 and a half now. So come on now and grant my wish and you will be blessed with MAGICAL LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Some Observations:
(1) I like the urgency of this advertisement, especially the repetition of “All I want for New Years is to be mated.” Certainly gives Magic a slightly desperate quality (which is not a bad thing I guess).
(2) The interplay of ‘Magic’ (the dog’s name) and “you will be blessed with MAGICAL LIFE” is quite magical, I must say.
(3) I would like to know why Magic “already know[s] this is one of the last years that my female companions will be drooling over me” ? Is it because Magic plans to leave it to the other boys to play and get sterilized next year?
(4) I counted 47 exclamation marks after “MAGICAL LIFE” give or take a couple (!)
(5) I don’t know if the bitches would go for something so boldly named “Stud Services.” Magic, could you tone it down a bit? Girls don’t like it if you come on so strong…
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“Single adorable 4 year-old award winning male purebred english cocker spaniel seeking female cocker mate for dating and possible long term affair. Besides my good looks, I come from a very warm and loving (read: spoils me rotten) family. I am extremely well educated (read: fed) and am willing to admit that I have a sock fetish. I am also very well behaved (read: naughty at times) and obedient (read: will do anything for food). Dating me would include going for drives in my chauffeur driven car, having vanilla ice cream…(etc)”
Some Observations:
(0) Give that the owner has already provided the subtext through the clever use of the “(read: …)” device, I’ll be providing the sub-subtext here.
(1) I like the frank tone of this advertisement. Unlike Fido (who is seeking a “beautiful bride”) this fellow just wants a “Summer Fling”
(2) This chap prefers to remain anonymous at this stage. Dating can be quite hazardous until the background of your potential mate is not sorted out…
(3) If this fellow is confessing to a “sock fetish,” could there be other hidden sicknesses?
(4) Girls, he’s got a chauffeur driven car. He dispenses sugar…He is Mr. Moneybags. Swoon!!! (Alas, its only a fling but he does say “possible long term affair.” But what about shaadi??)
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